Rites of Passage

As some of you know, I'm spending my senior year in France in an actual class of French seniors (despite the fact that most exchange students get put in "Junior year" for various reasons... I got switched due to some overcrowding and technical issues), which means I'm here to witness and share in the coming of age of my classmates and friends here in France.  Kind of like in the US, eighteen is the big number in France.  But unlike in America, the eighteenth birthday is really the coming of age for a lot of factors: voting, driving, drinking, etc. and not just becoming a legal adult.

It's actually been kind of funny when I've talked to people in France about "coming of age" in the US- a lot of them think that legal majority comes at twenty-one (they confuse it with the drinking age... which they can't believe comes a full five years after the driving age... I actually find this kind of ridiculous too after spending so long), and people generally find it strange that Americans have so many different points in their adolescence that could be considered rights of passage.  In France, it all gets wrapped up in one package called "eighteen."

Another big thing that happens at eighteen: the bac.  Essentially a massive final exam that determines whether or not a student will graduate high school.  It involves a ton of studying, a challenging senior year, and a huge sigh of relief at the end of it all, when students know that they can finally close that chapter of their life.

...Then comes the next big step: moving out.  Yes, at eighteen.  Not exactly the way we think of it in America, but a big step nonetheless.  Since few French universities have housing for students, college kids rent apartments in the city where their university is located, sometimes in groups, other times alone.  During the week, they are responsible for themselves: taking care of themselves, keeping the place clean, making food, and so on.  Now, the vast majority do come home to Mom and Dad on the weekend (for laundry, "groceries," and family time).  Still, the prospect of being out on their own for the first time is intimidating for a lot of high school seniors. 

I remember one day, during cold and flu season, we wound up with eight people coming to history class, and since it was pointless to move onto new material with a quarter of the class, we sort of just chatted with our extremely motherly history teacher.  A lot of my classmates surprised me by talking about how worried they were about managing on their own and how lonely they would feel- they really were anxious about it!  Oddly enough, before I set out to leave the country all on my own for a year, I hardly felt like that at all; this was my big adventure!  Naturally, I did get homesick and hit rough points, but it was all part of the experience and all totally worth it.

The funny thing about the presence of rites of passage in so many cultures is that they try to pick a moment in time and say "BOOM! You're an adult!" where in actuality, we all know it doesn't work anything like this.  Still, I guess they are important because they force young people to take that leap and start to assume their place in the adult world, whether they like it or not.  My history teacher spent that day comforting the class that their family would always be their family even when they were gone (I mean... about an hour down the road, but still), and that their would be someone around to help with laundry, with cooking, with moral support... until one day when we wouldn't need it anymore.  One day, very soon for some of us, we'll be the ones helping the newcomers.  I think that that's really the significance of these rites of passage: not to claim that something's going to change overnight, but to sort of force us to shed our old skin and grow a new one; to leave behind what we used to be and take the opportunity to become who we want to be.